Image courtesy of Marion Doss under CC BY-SA 2.0.
In foreign affairs, secrecy and subterfuge run more rampant (if that’s possible) than they do in domestic affairs.
For example, who can keep up with the various countries in this war, their agendas, their underlying reasons, their hidden motives? I suggest no one can; half the time not even those involved can sift it all out.
But occasionally we are able to pull the curtain of secret talks between leaders of nations, and thereby make the general public recipients of much more information than they might otherwise be privy to.
Such was the case when President Bush and British Prime Minister Tony Blair had a secret meeting in the halls of parliament one morning, which only a few top government officials knew anything about.
One who did, however, had always been curious about what was said at such secret meetings. So before this one, he had planted a sophisticated listening device which was discreetly hidden, but sensitive enough to pick up even whispers across a room, and was undetectable by room sweeps.
After Bush and Blair had left the building, this official played the recording, and was quite astounded at what these two friends and allies had said to each other.
* * * * * * * *
BLAIR: Hello, George. Glad you came over. Good to see you again.
BUSH: Likewise, Tony. Is it always raining in London? Ha ha, only kidding.
BLAIR: Have a seat. Care for some coffee?
BUSH: No thanks. You wanted to talk with me, Tony. Well, here I am.
BLAIR: Yes, well, George, old friend, now that we’re properly sequestered in this soundproof chamber we can be candid. What are we going to do about it?
BUSH: About being candid?
BLAIR: Is that American humor? No, George, about our scandals.
BUSH: You mean YOUR scandal, Tony. Frankly, hounding David Kelly to death for reporting that the danger from Saddam Hussein was exaggerated wasn’t very smart on your part.
BLAIR: I didn’t say that. The media said I said it. Besides, George, that is child’s play, I must say, compared to YOUR scandal.
BUSH: MY scandal? What scandal?
BLAIR: Don’t be illusive, George. Leaking the name of an undercover CIA agent as retribution for her husband’s criticism of your foreign policy was a rather stupid move on your part.
BUSH: Look who’s calling me stupid!
BLAIR: Oh come now, George, both your domestic and foreign policies are under attack at home, and your ratings have slipped from seventy to fifty percent. That does not say much for your leadership.
BUSH: Hold it right there, big shot. When your government is charged with doctoring intelligence to gain support for an unpopular war—then not finding any weapons of mass destruction—and all you can say is “wait and see.” You call THAT leadership?
BLAIR: It’s better, Georgie boy, than starting a war on the pretext of ousting Saddam Hussein, then changing the objective to finding weapons of mass destruction; then changing your mind again: to democratize the whole Middle East. You seem confused about why you got us into this war in the first place.
BUSH: You pompous little fop. You got yourself into this war without my help and now you’re paying the price, just like I am. Quit complaining.
BLAIR: What price am I paying, O, ruler of the universe?
BUSH: Don’t give me any of that royal crap, buster. Your popularity has already slumped to its lowest point since 1997.
BLAIR: It has no such thing, consummate prevaricator!
BUSH: It has too, you two-faced wimp. Fifty-three-percent of the British people think the war in Iraq was unjustified; and sixty-one percent of the British electorate don’t trust you, their prime minister. And you know why?
BLAIR: I presume you’ll tell me, Esteemed Leader of the Free World, even if I’d rather not know.
BUSH: It’s because, smart guy, contrary to what you told them before, you’re now telling your people that Saddam Hussein was never capable of producing WMDs, much less deploying them, and you now justify the war with this canard: he violated UN resolutions. What a phony you are, Blair Even I can do better than that.
BLAIR: I’ve had quite enough of your insults for one morning, Bush.
BUSH: And I’ve had quite enough of you, Blair. I’m getting out of here.
BLAIR: There’s the door. And I must say, I’m glad we got people like you out of England two hundred years ago.
BUSH: Yeah? Well, I can see why people think you’ve lost it. Blair. You got that one backwards too.
* * * * * * * *
You realize, of course, that as far as we know this conversation never took place. But wouldn’t it be interesting to find out that something like this, which never happened, happened?
“Published originally at EtherZone.com : republication allowed with this notice and hyperlink intact.”