Bin Laden buzz: The October surprise?

Published 12 years ago -  - 12y ago 9


London’s Sunday Express is reporting US and British Special Forces have found Waldo, Woof, Wenda, Wizard Whitebeard, and Odlaw…as well as 50 Waldo-watchers.

In other words, the al Qaeda grand Pooh-Bah, Osama bin Laden has allegedly been cornered in a mountainous area in northwest Pakistan, near the Afghanistan border…AND Mullah Mohammed Omar is thought to be with him.

Is this premature articulation or prelude to a Bush campaign landslide? Who knows? It has been reported that bin Laden has been:

A. In a cave along the Pakistan/Afghan border
B. In a five star hotel in Tehran
C. Dead
D. Dying
E. Living with Elvis
E. at an undisclosed location
F. None of the above

The Sunday Express quotes “a US intelligence source,” as saying THE most wanted bad guy and “up to 50 fanatical henchmen” (including the Mad Mullah) are inside a ten square mile patch of dirt and rock “north of the town of Khanozai and the city of Quetta”.

Unidentified sources claim, “He is boxed in,” and US special forces were “absolutely confident” that he could not escape. Gee, didn’t we hear that same report about Tora Bora?

Supposedly, bin Laden moved into the area, “in the desolate Toba Kakar mountains,” about one month ago.

The area has been, and is, under surveillance from a geostationary spy satellite while US and British Special Forces await orders to move in…..Huh?

IF (and this remains a huge honking ‘if’) we know where bin Dirtbag is, why wait?

IF (there’s that word again) we know where he is, why not carpet bomb those ten grid squared with bunker busters? Oh yeah, Weather, Terrain, Timing…(not necessarily in that order) and an implied ‘Jones’ to be able to confirm, “we got him” without having to use five Regiments of forensic geeks peeling DNA off charred rocks.

General Richard Meyers, chairman of the US Joint Chiefs of Staff, has confirmed US forces were engaged in “intense” efforts to capture bin Laden, but claims, “There are areas where we think it is most likely he is, and they remain the same…They haven’t changed in months”.

Meyers maintains, “We don’t know where it is precisely.” that Waldo is, but the Sunday Express claims, “a senior Republican close to the White House and the Pentagon” this past week that bin Laden had been located.

  • Bin Laden’s whereabouts had been discovered from “a combination of CIA paramilitaries and special forces, plus image analysis by geographers and soil experts”.
  • “They studied the background in bin Laden’s last video and matched it to rocks in the Toba Kakar region,” the newspaper said.
  • “A two-man special forces surveillance unit them infiltrated the area,” it said, adding that they picked up their first clues that bin Laden was in the area within a week.
  • “Other teams then slipped in,” the Sunday Express quoted its source as saying. “To avoid any alert, helicopters were not used.”

This new offensive operation comes in the wake of rising speculation that the US military is planning a spring offensive in Afghanistan to capture bin Laden.

IF (there’s that word yet again), coalition forces have located Osama, it raises a gaggle of interesting tangents.

  • Will Pakistan cooperate? Recently Pakistani soldiers and paramilitary types have been ‘meeting’ with the tribal leaders who control the desolate region targeted. Reportedly, they are serious as a heart attack and have been threatening the tribal honchos with draconian reprisals for failure to comply. How draconian? “Give up bin Laden or we will destroy your homes, kill your family and lay waste to the region.” THAT draconian. Remember the U.S. isn’t saying that…the Pakistanis are…we’re just looking the other way….
  • When weather permits, do they bomb the snot out of the area or try to grab Osama? “US helicopters already sited on the Afghanistan border will swoop in to extricate him,” the newspaper says. Donkeys are the only transport.” Conventional wisdom is they want bin Laden alive if possible…or at least an identifiable body.
  • WHEN do the teams hear “Execute, Execute, Execute…” on the radio? “The timing of that order will ultimately depend on President Bush,” the paper says. “Capturing bin Laden will certainly be a huge help for him as he gets ready for the election.”

IF (I know…) this is legit and the raid to capture bin Laden is contingent only on weather…the political fallout will be ‘interesting’.

The capture or confirmed death of bin Laden would be a huge benefit to the Bush campaign. The administration could and would claim success in two wars (Afghanistan and Iraq), a remarkable economic recovery, AND the death or capture of Saddam Hussein, his two demonic sons, and the mastermind of 9/11.

Even a George Soros funded ‘October Surprise’ would be overshadowed by devastating success of the Bush administration. Democrat whining that the administration sandbagged on scooping bin Laden for ‘political’ purposes is a dog that ain’t gonna hunt…overshadowed by the epic reality that “We got the s.o.b.!”

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