Happy Hillaween! You and I’d be in the slammer

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Written By Ted Lang

The air traffic controller talks into the keyed mike: “Cleared for landing on runway 2 left!” It’s a beautiful sunny day in this weirdest of the Northeast’s Indian summers, especially for aviation, civil and otherwise. The beautiful hills surrounding Westchester County Airport are alive with the colors of my favorite season, and as the controller signals clearance to the pilot approaching on final, the glitter of the craft’s bright and gleaming red paint contrasts the subtler tones of God’s wondrous brush strokes.And travelers at this busy local airport shoot a quick glance skyward as this silent projectile of the “otherwise” aviation classification drops its flap bristles to full and retards its throttle, and noses up to a perfect three-pointer so commonplace of the tail-draggers of yesteryear. For the craft is indeed both of traditional and classical vintage, and its pilot reminiscent of the post-Renaissance nobility of divine right. Only problem, the broom pilot is a member of that aristocracy of anti-Christendom, the satanic left!

I speak of none other than freedom’s fiercest and most vociferous of opponents, Madame Hillary Rotten Clinton, the Wicked Witch of the West, East, North and South! And the queen of mean she surely is! I heard, and it is only a rumor and totally unconfirmed, that when Red Hillary was in the White House serving as the Worst Lady, she commanded a Marine guard to leave his post and fetch her something. When the Marine politely refused notifying her of his duty not to leave his post, now mind you this is only an unconfirmed rumor, Madame Hillary slapped him! This is totally unconfirmed and still only a rumor. But considering what an unwholesome and rotten individual she is, I’m choosing to believe it! It’s right [left?] in line with her reputed character!

And consider also revelations from some of the White House staff that were oppressed under her, stating that she sent out orders that no one was to make eye contact with Her Ladyship under pain of cruel and unusual punishment!

As we consider villains of the same gender having touched upon revisiting history, one easily brings into comparison Her Ladyship with none other than what was previously considered to be the height of aristocratic arrogance, Marie Antoinette, and her out of touch remark advising that if the people had no bread to eat, that they might consider eating cake instead. I think that fairly summarizes both ladies’ contempt and insensitive aloofness towards the “street rabble.” Remember the scene wherein Her Ladyship was “listening” to the people during her campaign for Senator from New York against that eeevile Republican Rudy Giulliani, and she was “communicating” with her favorite type of American, a “homeless” street person?

Can’t you just see it now? Here’s this smelly old alcoholic with his stolen shopping cart or discarded ancient baby carriage he found in the dump a few blocks from where he lives in a cardboard box, and Her Ladyship is talking to this bum. How insensitive of me! Excuse me, for the proper description of such an individual should be “homeless” person. Anyway, here she is talking to this bum, and he’s looking for a handout, maybe a buck or two to buy some bottled turpentine to get high on, and Her Ladyship is asking him about his political preferences and whether or not he was going to go out and vote for her. Probably in a drunken stupor, the unfortunate pointed to his filthy, smelly, worldly possessions in the cart, and Her Ladyship seemed impressed and remarked, “Oh, is that your stuff?” What a phony baloney barfbag jerker!

Anyway, after landing at Westchester, Her Ladyship and senior broom pilot enters a van of her cohorts and Federal Gestapo armed with German machine-pistols assigned to protect this gun-control Nazi, and unbelievably, a police officer put up his hand to stop the van as it attempted to leave the airport parking area. This was due to the increased security in response to the 9/11 terrorism. The van roared forward and the officer was knocked down and was removed to the hospital for treatment of his injuries.

I’m sure you can just imagine how that happened: ” What’s the a.h. doing stopping me? Ignore the b—–d and run him over!” Now I ask you to consider this: If you and I did something like that, wouldn’t we be arrested and charged with vehicular assault, especially during this heightened security alert? Why wasn’t Hillary charged? Think Marie Antoinette!

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