Donald Duck write-in for disgust
This election, I’m voting for every third party candidate on the ballot. I don’t care who they are and it doesn’t bother me a bit that I don’t know much about any of them. They didn’t bother me with flyers, advertising braggadocio, and they certainly haven’t sworn allegiance to either of our malicious republican or democratic parties. We would be better off picking representatives by lottery, but that isn’t going to happen and this is the next best thing.
Wherever there is no third party candidate, I’m going to write in Donald Duck. He’s got the name recognition it takes to be a candidate, he’s honest, seventy-two years old, a sailor who wouldn’t “stay the course” when headed for a reef, and unlike Mickey and Minnie, he and Daisy are at least engaged to be married. They also have three nephews, Huey, Louie, and Dewey, which is more than you can say for the mouse, plus Uncle Scrooge who would make an excellent Secretary of the Treasury.
Most importantly, Donald doesn’t pretend to be something he isn’t. He’s a cartoon character that confronts things head-on with integrity. He can be amusing and serious at the same time. And he can’t tell a lie. His blue, white, and yellow colors do not change with every shift of the wind. When he swears to uphold the Constitution including the Bill of Rights, he’ll do it.
That’s more than you can say for any of the incumbents that have sold us down the drain, gave tax cuts to the wealthy while doing nothing about excessive payroll taxes, and are knowingly spending our supplemental Social Security retirement money. In my opinion, we ought to be sending the entire 109th Congress to Guantanamo where they could enjoy the treatment they’ve condoned for others.
I’m serious. Vote for Donald. Of course, he’s just a symbol – that’s the point. Register your disgust with the present liars, crooks, armchair war mongers, and parasites in both parties. It’s better than not even showing up at the poles.
Just think about it. Donald doesn’t need money to campaign. He’s already a household figure. He’s never been seen with lobbyists or influence peddlers. He doesn’t depend on spinach like Popeye and, in fact, he doesn’t chew cocoa leaves or seem to ingest anything for sustenance. He has no need for thousand-dollar-a-plate fund raising dinners or ranch barbeques. If Donald had a ranch, you’d see ponds full of ducks and geese, positive growth in herds of cattle, horses, and there would be green things growing everywhere, not just sand and sagebrush. And he wouldn’t be sitting back watching others do the work or showing foreigners around.
Do you think Donald would put up with millions of sombrero ducks crossing our border five years after 9/11? Do you think he’d be invading hapless countries in order to drink their oil? Do you think Daisy would put up with him if he ran around molesting interns and pages? Do you think he’d build highways and bridges to nowhere? Do you think he’d sell our ports, roads, parks and forests to the Arabs?
Let’s get our priorities and responsibilities straight. I’m not the one who made a mockery of Congress, our legislative body. I’m not the one who conceded the constitutional responsibility to declare war and invade countries that did us no harm. I’m not the one who passed the Patriot Act and then after all the complaints about it passed Patriot Act II that went even further taking away liberties and putting us on the road to a police state. I’m not the one who authorized wire tapping, torture, and passed the Military Commissions Act that abandoned Habeas Corpus, the basis of being innocent until proven guilty. I’m not the one who allowed big corporate mergers and monopolies or gave away no-bid contracts and exported corruption to Iraq and New Orleans. I haven’t broken any promises, oaths, or made any “signing statements,” and I certainly have not stolen any retirement money fromAmerica’s workers.
But I am the one who can show my contempt and disgust with our representatives in both the House and Senate and from both republican and democrat parties, not by staying away from the voting booth, but by giving my vote to a fictional character from the world of cartoon comedy. Writing in Donald Duck on the ballot expresses my frustration like nothing else. Fight Bizarro World with something bizar.
Donald can represent America the way it once was in its heyday when progress was measurable and the dollar meant something. Even the most sheltered and out of touch politician should understand that. And it will be emphatically driven home if the duck appears anywhere at any level in the election results.
If George W. Bush can grow into the job – so can Donald Duck.
“Published originally at EtherZone.com : republication allowed with this notice and hyperlink intact.”