OBAMA:
PERPETUATOR-IN-CHIEF OF POLITICAL CLICHÉ
By: John David Powell
Democrats
think your money is theirs to give to other people, while Republicans believe your money
is your money to do with as you please. Yes, that is a tired, old political cliché, but
all clichés are born out some level of truth.
President
Obama seems to be both a Democrat and Perpetuator-in-Chief of political clichés by coming
up with a novel, yet oh-so-liberal, way of raising money for his re-election campaign. In
the true fashion of someone who believes wholeheartedly that he can put your money to
better use than you can, President Obama has set up an event registry (www.barackobama.com/news/entry/the-obama-event-registry)
on his re-election
Web site (www.barackobama.com).
Thats
right, my friends, thanks to the leader of the free world, theres no more need to
rack your brain about finding that perfect gift for a friend or a loved one.
We all know
by now that it takes a whole lot of spending money to buy an election. The bigger the
office, the more money you need. Dog catcher,
not so much. With President of the United States, however, you cannot be a serious
contender without access to hundreds of millions of dollars.
You are not
going to come up with that kind of scratch by nickel-and-diming your family and friends. You are not even going to come up with that amount
of cash if you held daily breakfasts, lunches, and dinners with every one-percenter from
L.A. to D.C.
Mitt
Romneys Victory Fund (https://secure.mittromney.com)
and the Republican
National Committee (https://donate.gop.com) could only raise a
little more than $100 million in June, even with the Supreme Court (www.scotus.gov)
doing everything but handing out blank checks to Republicans and Independents by upholding
the Affordable Care Act (www.whitehouse.gov/healthreform/healthcare-overview)
and calling the individual mandate a tax.
Romney also
outraised Obama in May: $77 million to $60 million.
But before
you go off with your hair on fire about this being another example of the evil GOP
one-percenters with too much money that needs to be taxed, just remember than in September
2008 the junior senator from the great state of Illinois set a single-month fund-raising
record by hauling in $150 million. And trust me, he didnt get that from bake sales
and selling campaign trinkets.
In fact, he
recently reminded some of his deep-pocket pals just how big they came through four years
ago, and he put the touch on them for more moolah this time around. Using what were
told is a special campaign phone on Air Force One, the Pitchman-in-Chief tried to put the
fear of GOP into them by threatening the possibility that Republican special interests are
going to pool their cash and end up buying Congress and the White House. |
Apparently
special interests have no place in national politics, unless they are Democratic special
interests.
But this bit
of political irony is why Obamas gift registry is such a brilliant idea. It has the
potential to eliminate the financial influences of all special interests except for one:
Obamas. And that only works if you and all of your friends get all of their friends
to log on and sign up.
The whole
idea behind this event registry thing is to allow blushing brides-to-be a way to set aside
their personal wants and needs for the good of their country by telling everyone to donate
to President Obamas campaign what they would have spent on wedding gifts.
Thats
right, instead of starting a new life with a few things for the bed, bath, and, well,
beyond, the most powerful man in the world would prefer your cold, hard cash so he can
stay the most powerful man in the world.
Whats
that, you say? No wedding in your future? At least not before the election? No problem.
The president will gladly let you divert your well-earned birthday, anniversary, bar
mitzvah and bat mitzvah, graduation, baptism, and tooth-fairy money to his re-election
campaign.
In fact,
that unemployment money you get will just go for food that ends up flushed down the
toilet, so why not contribute it to a worthy and needy cause?
But just so
no one can say the Obama campaign is a crass and thoughtless money machine, know this: the
campaign did not ask you to donate your funeral benefits to the cause. Yeah, but
thats because they know Uncle Sam has first dibs on it.
"Published originally at EtherZone.com :
republication allowed with this notice and hyperlink intact."
John David Powell writes his Lone Star Award-winning columns
from ShadeyHill Ranch in Texas. He also hosts Gone to Texas on Blog Talk Radio. He is a
regular columnist for Ether Zone.
John David Powell can be reached at: johndavidpowell@yahoo.com
Published in
the July 16, 2012 issue of
Ether Zone.
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