WEAPONS
OF MASS DOO-DAA
NOTHING, ZERO, ZIP, ZILCH, NADA, SQUAT
By: Ed Henry
I don't know about you, but I'm sick and tired of being lied to. It's bad enough that
the government has been lying to us about Social Security while bilking us out of
trillions of dollars of our retirement money. But now, they're lying to us about matters
of life and death.
Day after day, for nine months, the President of the United States appeared on
television to tell us about Saddam Hussein's evil ways and weapons of mass doo-daa. He
told us of the harm that could be inflicted upon us unless this evildoer was removed from
power, how Saddam had chemical and biological weapons of mass doo-daa, connections to the
Al Qaeda, and was trying to put together nuclear weapons to attack us or supply other
terrorists and how good he was at hiding these things. |
And all of this was followed up by the President's henchmen, his Press
Secretary, the Secretary of Defense and even the Secretary of State who lied to the United
Nations Security Council.
President Bush promised to bring the 9/11 perpetrators to justice. With a smirk, he
continually repeated the story of how foolish the suicidal terrorists must have been to
think we would just sit back and take it, or that maybe we would "sue them."
This is one speech that the most media oriented president we've ever known certainly had
down pat.
Well, it's been almost two years and we have yet to find the infamous Osama bin Laden
or even the evil Saddam Hussein whose regime we just overthrew. We still don't know who
mailed anthrax to people in Washington, Florida and New York City, even after finding some
missing in our own supply. Hell, we couldn't even find Eric Rudolph, the Atlanta bomber
who supposedly hid out in our own hills of North Carolina.
If these are examples of bringing evildoers to justice, we should retire our military
and intelligence forces and hire Wackenhut. We even had two nitwits who terrorized the
Washington, D.C. area for more than two months by shooting people from the trunk of their
car before a truck driver finally caught them sleeping at a rest stop.
Most importantly, we easily overran Saddam's pipsqueak nation with our troops and what
have we found in the way of weapons of mass doo-daa? We found absolutely
nothing—zero, zip, zilch, nada, squat, the big goose egg, not even a nuclear drop
gun.
Now, the powers that lie tell us they would be willing to settle for, and you can
expect, some paper documents that show a connection to the Al Qaeda, former nuclear
development notes, or maybe some scientists that crack under debriefing now that they're
safe from Saddam's evil clutches.
Too late George.
Nobody is going to believe you now. If the Iraqis had any of the things you lied to us
about, they would have used them when we invaded. Wouldn't you have done so?
And whatever you discover at this late date, who is going to believe that Saddam buried
this doo-daa so deeply that he would have trouble getting to them himself?
Instead, we actually had the Iraqis disarming and destroying legitimate missiles they
were permitted but that we claimed had an 18 mile extended no load range. They were
destroying these in the days immediately before our invasion and after our forces had been
at their border for months. How’s that for a futile attempt to show compliance with
UN directives?
The only weapons of mass doo-daa in Iraq were the cluster bombs and depleted uranium
shells we brought there. And those have branded us as terrorists.
George and his band of merry murderers are probably miffed that they didn't get to use
MOAB (the "mother of all bombs") or that we didn't have field nukes available
yet. But hey, we're working on new nuclear development for the next invasion.
Remember the closing song from the movie Dr. Strangelove? The song played as nukes
destroyed the world. "We'll meet again, don't know where, don't know when." It
should be the Bush theme song.
If you haven't seen Stanley Kubrick's spoof on nuclear holocaust and military
intelligence from the Cold War Sixties, go rent it. It's one of Peter Sellers best and the
first film appearance of James Earl Jones. You will not see this film on the loyal
television networks busy bringing you Clint Eastwood re-runs or films like Die Hard 24
where our heroes take on impossible numbers of evildoers, destroy them all plus tons of
equipment, and do so without suffering more than a scratch or two. We're invincible,
right?
While you're at it, you might as well rent the movie Wag the Dog, a more recent
portrayal of Washington spin stories starring Dustin Hoffman and Robert DeNiro. Pay
particular attention to "Good Ole Shoe" because we just had the equivalent in
Private Jessica Lynch's
dramatic nighttime rescue from an Iraqi hospital. Of course, Jessica wasn't killed or
a sexual pervert, she just lost her memory of the event.
Meanwhile, back at the ranch, honest George is going to stimulate the economy with a
trickle-down tax break while average workers who account for two-thirds of the economy are
overtaxed and truly double taxed on their exorbitant payroll taxes. But go ahead, get out
there and spend, it's the patriotic thing to do.
And if you haven't got the money, put it on your credit card or get a loan. The
government does it, and you or your kids get to pay off their tab.
"Published originally at EtherZone.com :
republication allowed with this notice and hyperlink intact."
Ed Henry is the founder of TUFF, the
Taxpayers Union, and a regular columnist for Ether Zone.
Ed Henry can be reached at ctzcrank@mindspring.com
Ed's FREE pamphlet-"To The Moon, Alice" the national
debt, your Social Security, and the Pay-It-Again Sam scam.
We also invite you to visit his website at www.uncle-scam.com
Published in the May 21, 2003 issue of Ether Zone.
Copyright © 1997 - 2003 Ether Zone.
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